It has become increasingly clear to me each day that I am married that men just don't get women. My husband spends most of his days puzzled, frustrated, and confused as he tries to figure out just what he has done wrong this time. So, for his benefit, I offer you ten perfectly logical insights into the mind of a woman.
1. Yes, we are perfectly capable of changing a tire or killing a bug. Sometimes, we just want you to do it for us. Everybody likes to be taken care of once in a while.
2. You're the one who wanted the cat. That's why it's your job to get up when it yarks up a hairball in the bedroom at 5 AM.
3. We are always more generous with others than we are with ourselves. This is why we forego the shampooing that will only cost $5 extra at the hairdresser, and then tip her 50%.
4. Sometimes we just want to be left alone. It's not that we don't love you. We just don't want to be joined at the hip.
5. Probably ten of our Facebook friends are former boyfriends. Clearly it wasn't serious, because we're with you, not them.
6. Our sister is our best friend. We have known and loved her a lot longer than we have known and loved you. You are never, ever, allowed to criticize her.
7. Don't criticize her kids, either.
8. This does not go both ways. We absolutely will make fun of you when talking to our sisters.
9. Sometimes we are having a "fat for me" day. These are the days when we know we're not fat, we just feel a little bloated. Don't suggest we join a gym on these days. Don't tell us we're perfect the way we are. Just point out all the other people that we are skinner than ... even if we're not.
10. Is your laundry done? Is the house clean? Did we pick up the martial arts movie out of the Redbox even though Jackie Chan gives us the dry heaves? Then yes, we love you. Now be quiet and clean up that hairball.
1. Yes, we are perfectly capable of changing a tire or killing a bug. Sometimes, we just want you to do it for us. Everybody likes to be taken care of once in a while.
2. You're the one who wanted the cat. That's why it's your job to get up when it yarks up a hairball in the bedroom at 5 AM.
3. We are always more generous with others than we are with ourselves. This is why we forego the shampooing that will only cost $5 extra at the hairdresser, and then tip her 50%.
4. Sometimes we just want to be left alone. It's not that we don't love you. We just don't want to be joined at the hip.
5. Probably ten of our Facebook friends are former boyfriends. Clearly it wasn't serious, because we're with you, not them.
6. Our sister is our best friend. We have known and loved her a lot longer than we have known and loved you. You are never, ever, allowed to criticize her.
7. Don't criticize her kids, either.
8. This does not go both ways. We absolutely will make fun of you when talking to our sisters.
9. Sometimes we are having a "fat for me" day. These are the days when we know we're not fat, we just feel a little bloated. Don't suggest we join a gym on these days. Don't tell us we're perfect the way we are. Just point out all the other people that we are skinner than ... even if we're not.
10. Is your laundry done? Is the house clean? Did we pick up the martial arts movie out of the Redbox even though Jackie Chan gives us the dry heaves? Then yes, we love you. Now be quiet and clean up that hairball.
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