Every New Year's Day in our house (and my mother's and sister's houses), we do this thing called vasilopita. It's a Greek tradition where you bake a lucky coin into bread, then cut up the bread while announcing loudly whose slice is whose, and one lucky bread-eater chips a tooth on the coin. Usually, my mother did coffee cake. Since I'm not as Greek as she is, I often buy a cake and poke a lucky dime in the bottom of the thing. 
My point is (besides describing our fascinating Greek traditions that I actually had to google the word for, because all my life I've just called it "the lucky dime thing") last year, I got the dime. This hasn't happened since 1980, the year I won both the dime and a stuffed dog at Riverside Park. I expected great things. Did the dime deliver?
Overall, 2015 was a fabulous year. It had high points and low points, but really, there were more highs than lows. Let’s take a look:

High Points:

At the beginning of the year, in this blog post, I vowed to be more selfish. Best thing I’ve ever done. I sought out and found a job I love; I took more time for myself, even when Jason grumbled; I ate cupcakes when I wanted a cupcake. It’s made me a happier person overall. Here’s to more selfishness in 2016.

My novel, Ordinary Boy, came out in March. It’s gotten good reviews, and was even nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Also in March: shamrock shakes happened yet again. Hooray!

Bloom County came back after a twenty-six-year hiatus. Just the best news ever. I cried a little when I heard. And now I get to laugh again, every morning.

I vacationed on Block Island for the first time in four years. There were no cell phone signals where I was, no wifi, no cable television. I was forced to spend quality time with my family, and read books. It was delightful!

I was on television in September. It was anxiety-inducing and scary and fun. The guy who interviewed me is one of my favorite people in the world, so it was kind of like . . . hanging out with one of my favorite people. Overall: pretty cool.

The year ended with the announcement that my niece has finally reached Girl Scout Cookie selling age. Clearly, good things are ahead for 2016, like Thin Mints and Samoas.

Low Points:

By the end of May, three family members had been hospitalized. That kind of sucked. But all three of them are doing well now, so it all worked out!

Spring didn’t arrive in New England until June. Al Gore promised me global warming, but instead, we had snow in April. On the plus side, we haven’t really had winter yet this year.

The publisher who bought my second novel was bought out by another publisher, delaying the release of My Sister the Zombie. Kind of a bummer, but the new publisher did promise that the book should be released by the end of July. Plus, he offered me some freelance editing work, so it turned out to be a win.

I was bitten by a tick on the tushie in June, and wound up on antibiotics six weeks later. I was tired and achy and my hands went numb and I had no ambition to do anything. I can't even come up with a stupid Pollyanna spin to this. Just glad it has passed.

This fall, and on through December, either Jason or I or both of us have been sick. Colds, sinus infections, whole other colds . . . we've gone through a lot of Kleenex and DayQuil. In December, Santa informed me that I've been on the naughty list for three decades, and last night, on New Year's Eve, a fourth family member wound up in the hospital. You see, I think the dime's magic wears off toward the end of the year.

I liked 2015. It was a good year. I'll remember it fondly. Well done, magic dime. I have this year's coffee cake ready to go, and if Jason doesn't rouse out of his NyQuil coma soon, the whole coffee cake will be mine, including the magic dime. Happy New Year!
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This week from The Storyside:
Reflections on books I've ignored: "Classics I Haven't Read" by Stacey Longo (hey, that's me!)
Fabulous Free Fiction: "Sunset Anniversaries" by Rob Smales

Usually at the beginning of a new year, I like to make resolutions I have no intention of keeping. This year, however, will be different. You see, I'm making 2015 all about me. I think everyone should do this. (Make 2015 all about you. Though if you feel like making 2015 all about Stacey, I'm not going to try to dissuade you.) Here's what I'm planning on doing in the new year:

1. Stopping the Facebook Crap. I'm tired of your stupid quizzes, Facebook. I do not need to know what Disney villain I am, or what crime I committed in a former life, or what famous writer should write the story of my life. I don't care. None of these things affect my life in any meaningful sense.
I'm also going to start actively hiding people from my feed who take too many selfies. I actually had a Facebook friend who posted selfies showcasing her butt yesterday. I. Don't. Care. About. Your. Heinie. Just stop.
Ditto politically outraged friends, friends with newborns, friends with new puppies, and newlyweds. I'm hiding all of you in 2015. Facebook is cluttering up my life, and making me like people that I used to be fond of a LOT less. 

2. Learning New Skills. 2014 started out, for me, as the poorest I've ever been in my entire life. Because of this, I had to learn some new skills, pronto. While I've let my Ramen noodle recipes fall by the wayside since then, I still make homemade laundry detergent and fry my own potato chips. Handy skills. I want to learn more cool and useful stuff like this. But not, I repeat, not, if I have to be that poor again.

3. Finding More Alone Time. Don't get me wrong--I'll still make time for my family and friends. But I'm the kind of person who needs time to herself to be happy. I've been forgoing this much-needed alone time to make other people (like Jason) happy. And I'll admit, it's made me pretty cranky and miserable, and in turn, makes the people around me miserable. But you know who is ultimately responsible for making sure I'm happy? Me. So I'm going to carve out more time in 2015 to be by myself, and I think it'll make everyone a little happier.

4. Eating more bacon. Let's face it: everything we eat is bad for us. However, studies conducted (by me) show eating bacon, while bad for the arteries, is actually good for the soul. Bring it on.

5. No longer apologizing for who I am. For example, I totally geek out when I meet former WWE wrestlers from the 80s and 90s. Seriously, it's embarrassing how excited I get. Some of my friends make fun of me for this. You know what? If my excitement over meeting Hacksaw Jim Duggan seems dorky to you, what does it matter? I'm happy. So you can shut up. I'm done apologizing for my fascination with Stone Cold Steve Austin. And while I'm at it, I drink four cups of coffee a day, I'm constantly correcting your grammar in my head, and I thought the movie Ted was hilarious. I know a lot of useless trivia about serial killers and the Kennedy family. I'm terrible with directions. And I'm not apologizing for any of these things any more.

There you have it. I'm keeping the list to five things this year, because the thing about resolutions is that they need to be achievable and not overwhelming. I already started on this list today: I hid the Butt Selfie-Taker from my feed, and "liked" Stone Cold's Facebook page. (That's right, I'll say it: he is smokin' hot.) Here's what I know: I'm going to try to start thinking about things that make me, and not everyone else around me, happy. Because really, that's what all of these resolutions boil down to. I hope for your sake that you, too, resolve to be more selfish in 2015. And eat more bacon.

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year, when I'm practically comatose from cookie consumption and don't feel like writing anything. That's when I like to dish out my YEAR IN REVIEW.  Here's what I blogged about this year:

January: I complained about being overweight, groused about the Smurfs, and praised Ron Jeremy for being a cultural icon. It's possible I was still in my cookie coma and not thinking straight. 

February: I waxed poetic on my favorite Superbowl ads, though the only one I still remember is the Radio Shack ad, and only because there were aging wrestlers in it. Also I returned to the corporate world and complained about commuting, but praised Pop Tarts in the workplace. Am I shallow? Maybe.

March: I said something about Truman Capote, probably because I like mentioning him every once in a while. Also I detailed Pugsley's explosive diarrhea attacks. Honestly, why do you people continue reading my blog? 

April: I wrote about food. I like to eat. I also gave some valuable parenting advice, because since I don't have kids, I like to tell everyone else how they should raise theirs.

May: I listed all the things I don't want to do before I die, made some farmer's daughter jokes, and most importantly, talked about Richard Hatch. Because to the puzzlement of many, I sure do love me some Richard Hatch. I don't think I should have to justify this to you.

June: I wrote about dieting (are you sensing a theme yet? The "being overweight/I like to eat/time to diet" theme?) and snapping turtles and being funny. Also, I did a little experiment at work involving wearing makeup. The result? I should wear makeup. Should, but don't.

July: I talked about how not-terrible Connecticut is, which I'll admit, was a bit of a stretch. I also detailed my quest to find out if I was Frank Sinatra's child. It was actually less of a stretch than trying to make Connecticut sound fun.

August: You know what? If you click on the word "August" to the left, you can actually find out for yourself what I wrote about that month. I feel like eating another cookie.

September: September found me waxing poetic about having your writing rejected, about being an outgoing introvert, and about my quest for a new author photo. (Random fact: that author photo blog was probably my personal favorite this year.)

October: I listed fun facts about New England, and did some Halloween-type blogs. Plus I tried some home beauty tips. And, of course, I took the opportunity to mention Richard Hatch again.

November: I broke up with my radio station. And wrote some other stuff. My sister-in-law's sister-in-law, Pam, makes the best chocolate-chip oatmeal raisin cookies ever. I didn't blog about that in November, but I'm eating them right now, and they are goooood.

December: December is a hard time of year for me. It's difficult for me to even muster up the energy to get out of bed and shower during the holiday season. It's all that Christmas garbage: songs on the radio, specials on TV, happy people . . . it makes me sick. That's why I spent December skewering Christmas shows. Because someone needs to be brave enough to say "It is NOT a wonderful life. It's mediocre at BEST, Clarence."

There you have it. My year in review. What's coming up in 2015? From the way I've been shoveling down the cookies, I'm guessing January will start with me complaining about being overweight.

Happy New Year!

Only a few more days 'til the New Year, and it's time for this particular blogger to make her list of resolutions. Won't you join me?

First off, I've been picking on Bing Crosby an awful lot lately. I sort of feel bad about that. After all, what did he ever do to me except sing 40 bajillion holiday songs that I've been listening to ad nauseum since early October? (And listen, Lite 100.5 WRCH, there is NO CALL to continue playing that Christmas crap AFTER Dec. 25th. But I digress.)
 In 2013, I resolve to find a new crooner upon whom I can heap my abuse. I'm looking at you, Frank!

Next up, I'm a little concerned about my weight. I'm getting tired of looking at these love handles. Next year, I resolve to buy more long sweaters so I won't have to see 'em.

A year ago, I did a blog about how I'd spent all of 2011 talking to Ken Wood. In 2012, the chats continued, but I only found about sixteen pictures of us yakking it up this year. (This one is from NeCon in July, taken by Jason Harris.) I feel like we're not talking as much, maybe because Ken's been too busy planning his wedding to Sarah Gomes (they're getting married Saturday, 12/29! Congratulations, you guys!) In 2013, I clearly have to talk to Ken Wood more.

Finally, I've noticed that the house is looking a little blah lately. Wallpapering and renovating would be both expensive and a lot of work. To spice things up around the home, in 2013, I resolve to shave a mohawk into Pugsley the Cat and henceforth refer to him as 'Fang.'

Sure, these resolutions will require self-discipline, hard work, and a lot of willpower on my part. But I'm willing to sacrifice. What are YOU planning to do in 2013?

Why do we make New Year's resolutions? This is the question I wail in to my pillow every night. I always start January with the best of intentions, only to fail miserably by Jan. 4th. Let's look at my resolutions for 2012 (may they rest in peace):
1. Go on a diet. Who didn't see this coming? I'm a card-carrying member of Weight Watchers, and a "boredom eater" (you fellow flab fighters know what I mean.)
But see, when I logically know I should go on a diet, but I'm not mentally ready to go on a diet, a funny thing happens. Food that has never appealed to me in my life suddenly finds its way into my belly. I went to the grocery store last weekend with every intention of buying fresh fruit, vegetables, and whole wheat wraps. Lo and behold, the manager's special of the day was cherry almond muffins. I hate muffins. I find them dry, unappetizing, and not worth the 750 calories a pop. Unless they're chocolate with chocolate chips and frosting, I'm not interested (and even then that would technically be a cupcake, not a muffin.) But, knowing I  was trying to watch my intake and shed a few pounds, I suddenly decided I had to have them. Cherry almond? What a novel flavor! Surely these muffins would be better than any muffin I've ever eaten and been disappointed with in my life! I bought two packages of four, and threw some Slim Jims in the carriage for dessert. I'm up six pounds this week.
2. Get a sassy new hairdo. It's a new year, and now I need a new 'do to distract people from the six pounds I've just added to my neck. I decide to go for a chic layered bob to add volume and encourage Meg Ryan comparisons. I can't go to Dara at Cutting Crew because she always criticizes me for not moisturizing my split ends. Brenda at Modern Hair is out because she yells at me for trimming my own bangs. I almost make an appointment with Jodi at the Sears salon, until I remember the time she made fun of me for plucking my eyebrows unevenly. I don't know what makes hairdressers so critical, but I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. I've decided that 2012 is the year I will start wearing more hats.
3. Renew friendships with old friends. Doesn't that sound nice? Reaching out to a few friends who I don't see enough, emailing them more, sending them cards, and making time to meet them for lunch? It's a lovely thought, but reality is an ugly thing. I work full time, serve on two different boards, volunteer for the annual MS Walk in April, do all of the cooking and most of the cleaning in my house, edit part-time, and I'm writing a book that should be out in the first half of the year. Who has times to reconnect with old friends? I'm sure the reason why we lost touch in the first place is because they didn't like that I had no time for them. Who needs friends like that?

There you have it: three resolutions, all of which I have spectacularly failed. Next year, I'm resolving to continue to not get enough exercise, or to ingest more caffeine. At least that way, I'll be setting myself up for success!