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Editing Mark Twain

8/25/2016

 
Books & Boos Press has a new anthology coming out in September. It’s called Tricks and Treats: A Collection of Spooky Stories by Connecticut Authors, and contains stories from contemporary Nutmeggers (like me) and some (dare I say it?) more famous, and quite dead, Connecticut literary talents.
 
Let me explain something here, because it might be important to the story. See, my day job is as a copyeditor. It’s how I pay my bills. At night, I come home and edit for individual authors and small presses. That’s a lot of editing. Add to this that I also have a tendency to take on more than I can handle, and you’ll understand why I started looking for an editing partner about a year ago. I’ve met a ton of people who call themselves editors. And quite frankly, they are not. Selecting stories for a book, spotting one typo and fixing it, and then just letting it go to print without once cracking The Chicago Manual of Style does not an editor make. But I did have one writer friend who, when we’d go back and forth on a story, would ask things like “Can you just look at this and make sure I’m interpreting CMOS 6.6 correctly?” I knew I had my man. Rob was willing to do the work to get things exactly right, and who seemed to relish in conversations about things like whether it should be “satphone,” “sat-phone,” or “sat phone.” (Conclusion: since it’s not in the dictionary, and cell phone is two words, and cell is short for cellular [unlike “smartphone,” one word] and sat is short for satellite, it’s two words, no hyphen. Sat phone. We spent an hour coming to that decision.)
 
So at S & L Editing, our process goes something like this: a manuscript will come in, Rob and I will discuss who is going to take the lead on it, and from there, that editor starts, and the other one follows up behind. On Tricks and Treats, I took the lead. And on page twenty-seven came a real thrill in my editing career: I was about to edit Mark Twain.
 
Yes, the Mark Twain. The one you hear about all the time. Tom Sawyer and famous jumping frogs and long-dead Connecticut resident. That guy. It was thrilling! I hoped I didn’t mess it up.
 
Now, when you’re editing a famous dead writer, the rule is really to be as hands-off as possible. It’s not like you can point out a continuity error in a story and have him fix it. So this was straight proofreading, just checking to see if any of the typography rules had changed since ol’ Samuel Clemens’s day. I shot Rob a message: I’m. Proofing. Mark. Twain. This is surreal! He gave me a thumbs-up. I don’t think he appreciated the moment . . . until it was his turn.
 
A week later, I got this message from Rob: I’m reading Twain’s story now. I don’t want to touch anything.
Me: Just look over the punctuation and spelling, make sure it adheres to the 16th edition of CMOS. We’re not changing anything else.
Rob: Okay . . .
 
When Rob’s edits came back, I looked them over. On Twain’s story, he’d made only one change: adding a comma.
 
I could appreciate his apprehension to muck with a story written by a man known for his literary genius. I’d felt the same way. I stared at Rob’s comma. Imagined his hesitation before adding it—he’d probably debated it for a bit, reading the sentence out loud with and without comma to see which flowed better, adding it, undoing the add, then putting it back in again . . .
 
I smiled. I appreciate how hard Rob works to polish things up, diligently double-checking his edits in CMOS, and he has a great eye for content issues. He’s meticulous. Careful. A great editor.
 
But I hated that comma.
 
We could’ve debated it. But I was running low on time, and had to move the manuscript on to layout. So I thought long and hard: what would Mark Twain want? When he’d written “The Californian,” had he intended for that one sentence to have a comma, an intentional pause there, and some editor over a hundred years ago deleted it on him? Was he rolling in his grave even now, lamenting the loss of that one little punctuation mark?
 
At this point, I made an executive decision: Mark Twain had a pretty good sense of humor. And I’m sure he would’ve found it highly amusing how much time both Rob and I had spent pondering this one darn comma. So if nothing else, I was satisfied that we’d delighted a dead man. I made a decision, and moved the book on to layout.
 
Did the comma stay? Did it go? You’ll have to pick up your copy of Tricks and Treats next week to find out!
Picture
I like to think he's saying, "Stop overthinking the @!$!! comma!" here.

Chinese Takeaway

8/18/2016

 
I was hoping to be more prepared this fine evening. That—knowing the obligations I had coming up (stop by TerrifiCon at Mohegan Sun this weekend and I'll autograph a book for you, even if it's one I didn't write!)—I'd have a witty, insightful blog entry ready to go.

That didn't happen.

I wound up having lots of editing emergencies come up (including three rounds of editing exams for a potential new employer, one test for which I was allowed nine hours to complete, so it certainly wasn't a walk in the park). I had three authors on two different projects who missed deadlines (you know who you are), which royally screwed up my publishing schedule for our small press, and I'm still scrambling to recoup lost time from that. And to top it all off, the garden, despite my neglect, has had a major growth spurt, and I've got gourds and zucchini (one which you can't eat, and one which nobody seems to like to eat) taking over the yard. I've been baking zucchini bread in my "down time" (the time I used to use for things like sleeping and showering), during, I might add, a heat wave.

I'm a bit frazzled.

Do I sound cranky? I'm really not, but here's why. I was standing in my kitchen in 102 degree weather, heating up the oven, APA Stylebook in one hand, hefting a giant zucchini in the other, wondering how much damage I could do with it to deadline-ignoring authors, when this came up in my Facebook feed:
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You know, it's hard to stay in a bad mood when you see something cute and funny.

Happy Friday!

You Can't Go Home Again

8/11/2016

 
Picture
Picture
I may have mentioned once or twice or forty times that I grew up on a farm. It’s very much a part of who I am, not only instilling in me a strong work ethic and a love of gardening and cows, but also helping to develop my repertoire of witty responses to “farmer’s daughter” jokes. But what happened to that farm?
 
Back in the day, when my dad was ready to do other things, like sleep in ’til 6 AM, he and my uncle sold the property to the town of Glastonbury. The town, in turn, preserved the land. Put a big sign up that read LONGO FARM OPEN SPACE and everything. It’s kind of a park now: people are allowed to walk the trails, as long as they don’t disturb the agriculture (there’s a farm family nearby that rents out the fields for planting).
 
My parents moved off the homestead while I was living on Block Island. I haven’t been back to the farm in over fifteen years. So when Jason suggested we walk the Longo Farm Open Space, I was game. More than game. I wanted to go home again.
 
On the ride over, I was filled with apprehension. What would it look like? Would it smell the same—the sweet scent of cow manure and chopped corn tickling my nose? Would the paths I remembered from my childhood still be there? What on earth did they do with the “lagoon”—a cement holding area into which the animal waste was once funneled?
 
I relaxed when we arrived. Things were different, but not too different, I thought. Then we started walking.
 
When I was a kid, my father planted Christmas trees out in the back field. I remember the area as bright and bare, full of large boulders and saplings. Forgive me my rudimentary Photoshop skills, but it looked something like this:


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As we walked up the slope, I stopped. Looked around. Was this the same spot where we’d all piled into the truck to pick out a tree (my sister sick as a dog one year, me holding onto her so we wouldn’t fall out the back, but also worrying guiltily that she’d barf on me, so not holding her too close)?

​It looked—well, like this:

It was disconcerting, to say the least. The farm had stayed the same in my mind. But the trees were taller, the landscape altered; there were fences where none had existed before. The pond where we’d fished as kids (a giant water snake chasing us all the way home once when Kim and I were still in the single digits) was now a lush green valley. What the heck? What had they done to my home? (No, I don’t know who I mean by “they.” The town? God? Irrelevant.)

We trudged on, my shoulders slumping, the tears welling in my eyes. My childhood was gone. I know it happens to everyone. But I thought I’d be miraculously excluded from that rule.

“Hey,” Jason said, elbowing me. “Pretty.” I looked up.

We were at the highest point at the back of the farthest path, looking out over the plowed patches and haying fields toward the home I’d grown up in.

This. I knew this. I scrambled out through the tick-infested grass onto a broad granite rock and snapped a picture.
Picture
Beautiful, right? That’s a shot of what I remember. The rocks. The fields. The house. One wily water snake who had to slither down a lot of dirt roads to chase me and Kim all the way home. I pointed out the white birch that still stood alone in the hayfield, much bigger now, and told Jason how my friend Meghan and I had camped underneath it. Walked the path that wound up toward the garage my father had built, pointing out where the cow graveyard had once been. (Maybe still is. I wasn’t about to grab a shovel and find out.) Reminisced about checking the rows of corn with Dad, shining a flashlight between the stalks, looking for raccoons (their eyes reflect red in the beam). Described how my mom and aunt would walk the back loop every day after work, without fail, and not once had stepped on a snake. It was home.
 
But not any more.
 
And that’s okay. When we made it back to the car, I was tired, my knee hurt, and I wondered how my mother managed to hike that loop every afternoon without reaching for the Ben Gay every evening. Much like the land I grew up on, I’m getting older. I had a newfound respect for the effort my father must’ve put forth to keep the paths clear, the fields mowed, the acres plowed. A lot. No wonder he was up at 4:30 every morning. Some weekends, I get up at 7 and whine about weeding the garden. I am a spoiled brat.
 
I’d gone home to visit the farm. But it’s not my home; it’s open space for everyone to enjoy (but watch out for giant water snakes, people). It was nice to visit. Made me wistful, really. But the best part of the hike was that it made me realize some important things. One: nothing stays the same, not ponds, nor birch trees, nor my knees. Two: What made the farm home to me was not the manure or the cow graveyard, but my family, and I still have them. And three: Farming is hard. That’s a lot of land to work and maintain.

I’m glad my dad doesn’t do it anymore, that he’s retired and able to relax with Mom. I’m glad my sister and I, or Jason, or my brother-in-law Tim, or my nephews, aren’t farmers. I don’t miss Christmas mornings when Dad had to do the milking, or corn-chopping season, when Dad didn’t make it home for dinner for weeks. And don’t think Mom wasn’t working—she had a full-time job, plus raising us while Dad was off farming. I don't miss the flies or the mice or the ticks. So it was nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there again. I’m pretty happy where we all are now.
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Turn That Frown Upside Down

8/4/2016

 
PictureJillian and Amelia.
Last week, I was scrolling my Facebook feed when this update came through. It was my friend Jillian and her daughter, and the caption under the picture read: "Amelia says she's having a bad day so she made this, lol!"

The photo garnered the usual comments—"That's a riot," "I love you Miss Amelia," et cetera—but nobody was commenting on what was clearly obvious from this one innocent photo:

Jillian's daughter was a genius. 

PictureLooks natural, right?
It was so simple, yet seemed like the perfect solution. I often have bad days. Why not tape a smiley-face mask to my face? It seemed brilliant, yet I did wonder if I could get away with it. Maybe I should just smile more.

But then, the very next morning when I went to work, I discovered that the staff cafeteria would no longer be carrying Rain Forest Nut coffee. My favorite flavor. My caffeine would now be delivered in less pleasing, less tasty varieties.

​Emergency measures were in order. I got out the paper, the scissors, and a marker.

Picture(In case you can't tell, Jeremy has a pretty good sense of humor.)
Okay, I had my smiley face. But could I really get away with this? Would anyone notice?

If you couldn't tell from the previous photo, we each have our own cubicles at work. It's isolating, and reduces social interaction. Truly the ideal setup for an introvert like me. My coworkers started rolling in. As they mumbled their morning greetings, nobody seemed to notice my mask.


All was going well until Jeremy, one of the senior designers, had a question about superscripting ordinals (answer: don't do it, folks). It required a face-to-mask conversation. Would Jeremy realize I'd taken my social cues from a preschooler?

Thankfully, the answer was "Nope." (Jeremy, by the way, was also upset about the Rain Forest Nut debacle, and hadn't had nearly enough coffee that morning.)

PictureSpell check doesn't even recognize "velociraptor" as a word, people!
I made it through the first smiley-face day with no major incidents. This mask thing was a godsend. I didn't have to talk to anyone, and I did overhear a few people remark that I seemed to be in a good mood that day. But the next day would be the real test.

See, I was scheduled to give a major presentation on business writing the next morning. I was prepared, but this was a whole different ballgame: now I'd have to give the whole thing without my Rain Forest Nut coffee. It was sure to be disastrous. There was only one thing I could do.


That's how I found myself, Friday at 9 AM, talking about the importance of style guides and consistency throughout a document and actually using a dictionary instead of trusting spell check. With a paper smiley face taped to my face.

I couldn't possibly get away with this, right? I mean—surely, somebody would say something. Right? Right?

Ha! I'd forgotten the golden rule of business meetings: show up and immediately tune out. I'm pretty sure not one person at the presentation will bother to crack a dictionary after my hour-long lecture. This was starting to get a little disheartening.

Then, just as everyone was shuffling out of the conference room, one guy stopped. He said nothing. But he gave me a thumbs-up.

So thank you, Jillian and Amelia. At least this one guy approves.

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And he looked so happy!

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