I’ve often lamented about living in Connecticut, mostly because it’s cold, the people who live here are rude and standoffish, and, let me say it again, it is cold. So why do I stay? Largely because my family and most of my husband’s family are here. But Connecticut isn’t all freak ice storms, shootings, serial killers and Benedict Arnold. Here are some great things about my home state:

1.    We have Wally Lamb. That’s right, you Maine elitists, you can keep your Stephen King, because we have the author of She’s Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True. Wally Lamb will pop up on the Connecticut landscape when you least expect it—an appearance at the Franklin library here, watching the movie filming of one of his books in downtown Norwich there. And every single resident in my beloved state will claim to have once had Mr. Lamb as an English teacher. Apparently, Connecticut also has a lot of liars.

2.    We have the WWE. Yup, the WWE is based right here in Stamford. Standing as a beacon to John Cena fans worldwide, it’s impossible not to spot the World Wrestling Entertainment logo atop its shiny gray/black headquarters off Interstate 95, and I guess we’re proud. As Connecticut residents, we have a love/hate relationship with the country’s top wrasslin’ organization. We love the money Vince McMahon spends on taxes, and the jobs he provides for residents. But we hate voting his wife into public office, which we’ve failed to do twice now. Why? Because Connecticut is chock-full of tunnel-visioned Democrats, and we refuse to let Republicans succeed. (This might not be entirely the Democrats’ fault, however. Our former governor keeps getting indicted for accepting bribes and perpetrating fraud, and as luck would have it, he’s a Republican.)

3.    If wrestling is too lowbrow for you, we also have ESPN. Yup, you “too good for wrestling” snob, we also have the biggest sports network in the world. If you’ve loved sports your whole life and want a career immersed in all things sporty, you’ll have to move to Connecticut to do it. And maybe we don’t want you here. See, Connecticut is also full of snobs.

4.    We specialize in good food.  Check your pantry right now. I mean it. Right now. I’ll wait. Bring me back some chips or something, will you?
Half of the stuff in your pantry came from Connecticut, if my skewed calculation of fractions is correct. That’s right. We’re home to Newman’s Own (Westport), Nestlé Pure Life (Stamford), Lender’s Bagels (New Haven), Mystic Pizza (Mystic), Munson’s Chocolates (Bolton), Bear Naked, Inc. (Norwalk), Stew Leonard’s (also Norwalk), Pepperidge Farms (apparently, Norwalk is really in to food) and Subway (Bridgeport). If there’s one thing we like to do in Connecticut, apparently, it’s eat.

5.    We’ve got the largest casino in the country, and another fancy one right down the road. If you’re a gambler with money to burn, you already know this and maybe already live here. But not only do we have Foxwoods, which, in addition to six casinos on site also has hotels, spas, restaurants, concert halls, golf courses, and a museum, but if you get bored, you can go to Mohegan Sun, ten minutes away. Mohegan Sun has three casinos, hotels, spas, restaurants, concert halls, and golf courses, but no museum. (Wait . . . is there a museum? Maybe there is. I don’t go there for the culture, folks. Like a true Nutmegger, I go there to eat.)

There you have it. I managed to find five good things about my state, and I didn’t even have to use the obvious ones, like Mystic Aquarium, or how the UCONN women’s basketball team is the better than yours, or the Mark Twain House, or how we only have the third highest cost of living in the nation, according to CNBC.

Now, if you want to visit our little corner of the nation and meet Wally Lamb, watch some wrestling, tour the ESPN building, eat a ton of food, and gamble, I would recommend you come do it soon. Winter’s just around the corner, and nobody in Connecticut leaves the house in the winter. Because—and I cannot reiterate this enough—it is cold.

Often when I’m hard at work, my mind will wander. “What shall I have for lunch?” I’ll sometimes think. Or, “Didn’t Mia Farrow say not that long ago that her son might be Frank Sinatra’s kid? Why haven’t I heard more about that?” I decided to investigate. (Also, I decided on Taco Bell.)

I found this picture online,  comparing Ronan Farrow to both Frank Sinatra and Woody Allen, the man who raised him. I don’t know. He does have Sinatra’s face, but Woody’s shirt collar. I think it could go either way here. Ronan himself was pretty funny about the whole situation, tweeting “Listen, we’re all *possibly* Frank Sinatra’s son.” This got me thinking: Could I be Frank Sinatra’s kid?

Let’s look at the evidence: First off, my mother not only has never met Frank Sinatra, she actively hates his guts. Honestly, Sinatra is her kryptonite. If you want to see my mother shoot actual green balls of smoking venom out of her eye sockets, just mention what a nice guy you thought Ol’ Blue Eyes was. She despises him. Plus, and maybe this should have been my first point, she loves my dad and would never risk her marriage for a fling. Finally, let’s turn to the photographic evidence.

This is me and my father. I have his hair color (before his went white, but don’t tell him that—he thinks he’s still a blonde), his eye color, his ridiculously overly-sensitive skin, his high cholesterol, his love for sour cream  . . . yup, there was no denying it: Dad was most definitely my biological father. 
But I do have one parent that I don’t resemble AT ALL. That’s right: my mother, with her Greek features and olive skin, looks nothing like me. Was it possible that Mom wasn’t really my biological mother?

I thought about this for a while over crunchy tacos. Mom  loves math and science, whereas I am a creative writing and arts-and-crafts kind of gal. Mom would never turn down the opportunity to visit the city—any city—whereas the thought of riding a subway makes me break out in hives (thanks again for that sensitive skin, Dad). Okay, maybe that could be explained away by the fact that she grew up in Hartford whereas I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. But then I looked down at my fast-food tray and realized that Mom never would’ve ordered crunchy tacos. She is a soft taco woman all the way. And that, my friends, is biology. I called Mom immediately.

“Mom? If that’s your real name,” I muttered. “Do you actually have any proof that I’m your daughter? Or is it possible that you did, in fact, adopt me, and I’m really the long-lost Princess Anastasia?”

“What?” Mom said. “Have you completely lost your mind?”

I tried to question her further, but she was losing her temper, and fast. I never lose my temper that quickly. She was just making my case for me.

Mom is also the no-nonsense sort (whereas I am the high-nonsense sort, you see) and she immediately produced what she considered photographic evidence: a picture of her, quite pregnant, in the month and year of my birth.

Wow, I thought. I’d had no idea Photoshop was even around in the 1970s, but Mom had done a great job of making it look like she’d been nine months pregnant right before I was born.

“That’s all well and good, but how do you explain your aversion to crunchy tacos? Dad doesn’t like them either, so clearly, the only explanation is that I am a Russian princess,” I insisted.

“How about because I don’t like it when the taco shell breaks and dumps its contents in my lap?” she asked. She said a few other things, but I didn’t catch much beyond “nuttier than a pecan log.”

Mom can deny it all she wants. I know the truth. See? Just look at us:

Except for the fact that I have her forehead, nose, face, smile, and neck, we look nothing alike.  Plus, you can't see it here, but I also have her body shape, hips, hands, and feet. And I guess it's a little odd that we went out to buy new frames for our glasses at separate times, and picked out the exact same frames. (I am not making that up. We have also gone on separate shoe-shopping excursions and bought the exact same sandals. Twice.)

The good news is, it turns out my parents really are my biological parents. I am not a long-lost Russian princess, which is also good news, because that would've made me 113 years old. The bad news? I’m pretty sure Mom is thinking about disowning me now.

Many thanks to my mother, who let me use that nine-months-pregnant picture of her without even questioning what I’d be writing about this week or using the picture for. THAT’s a mother’s love, folks.

I’ve been writing this blog every week without fail for four years. I’ve never re-run a past post or skipped a week. Sure, I’ve lobbed a few softballs your way (dieting, cute things my cat did) but I’ve never taken a week off. Until now.
When a complete stranger emailed me to ask if he could write a guest blog post for my site, I considered it carefully for about two seconds. I really, really wanted a blog vacation. So, please welcome guest blogger Nikolas Baron of Grammarly as he inspires you with . . .

The Worst Writing Advice on the Web

From whom do you seek advice? Invaluable gems of wisdom issue forth from mothers, coaches, teachers, mentors, and colleagues. From the same mouths, however, issue misleading statements, illogical conclusions, and seriously bad ideas! How does one separate the good counsel from the bad? As a new writer, it is imperative to find the tools and strategies that really work. In fact, I spend a lot of time at Grammarly searching for solutions to the problems writers face. One of the worst offenders is bad advice. Let’s tackle five of the worst suggestions head on!

●     Write as if the reader knows nothing.

I remember this counsel from high school. When writing a research paper, a teacher suggested that we explain all details as if the reader knows nothing. However, as a writer, you usually have a target audience. Your readers fit into a certain demographic. Therefore, you should be able to assume a general understanding of certain matters. If you are writing in a genre that requires specialized knowledge, such as historical fiction or medical thriller, you will need to explain some of the obscure facts.

●     Focus on a career that makes a lot of money; write on the side.

Careers require training, time, and energy. If you are using your resources to pursue a different career, what will you have left to put into your writing? If becoming a writer is a serious goal, it may help to place all your eggs in one basket. Why? Here is a truism: Necessity is the mother of invention. If you need something, you will be motivated to fulfill that need. Your necessity will make you creative. The reverse is also true: If you do not need to write to support yourself, you may never get around to doing it.

●     Go back to school if you want to be a writer.

That you need a university degree in journalism or English literature to be a writer is a myth. Plenty of writers do not have degrees. Others have degrees are in other areas. While a degree might help you, it is not mandatory. If you feel that your English skills need brushing up, check to see if your local college offers workshops to the community. One creative writing workshop may be all you need to get started on the writing career path.

Bonus Fact : John Grisham attended law school and practiced law for a few years before he published his first novel. Can you use the training and job experience you already have to craft a unique story?

●     Plagiarism is okay.

If you type this sentence into Google, you will receive over 50,000 results (with an additional 30,000 if you change the spelling of okay to ok).  This opinion is more popular than you’d think. Besides the ones that broadcast the opinion online, there are those who show their approval of the concept by committing the offense. Plagiarism is NOT okay, for three main reasons. First, if a publishing company detects plagiarism, your work will be automatically rejected. Second, you will damage your reputation.  Third, you make yourself vulnerable to legal action from the proper owner of the work. Use a plagiarism checker to make sure you did not intentionally infringe.

●     Let writing flow like speech.

If you have ever transcribed speech, you realize it is full of false starts. The sentences are often choppy and interrupted. In general, readers prefer fiction that flows smoothly. Think of your five favorite novels. Reread a page or two of each. Why do you like the writing? Try to recreate the same type of prose in your own novel. Just don’t plagiarize!

There is no lack of people who want to give you advice about how you should write. The bad advice abounds. Wade through the river of bad advice to find the nuggets of gold. Avoid these five pieces of counsel—they resemble fool’s gold more than the genuine article! When in doubt, ask several successful, published authors to share tips and evaluate the opinions that you have heard.

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Bio:

 Nikolas Baron discovered his love for the written word in elementary school, where he started spending his afternoons sprawled across the living room floor devouring one Marc Brown children’s novel after the other and writing short stories about daring pirate adventures. After acquiring some experience in various marketing, business development, and hiring roles at internet startups in a few different countries, he decided to reunite his professional life with his childhood passions by joining Grammarly’s marketing team in San Francisco. He has the pleasure of being tasked with talking to writers, bloggers, teachers, and others about how they use Grammarly’s online proofreading application to improve their writing. His free time is spent biking, traveling, and reading.

Recently, the fabulous Catherine Grant (www.authorcatherinegrant.com) invited me to participate in the Writing Process Blog Tour. The Writing Process Blog Tour is a means for writers to talk about how they write, and to introduce other writers. Each contributor talks about their writing process, and invites 3 others to talk about their own work, and so on. Since another fabulous author, Ursula Wong, and I, often collaborate in our writing, we decided to collaborate on our contribution to the Blog Tour.  Be sure to let us know what you think!

1.  What am I working on? 

Stacey: I just finished rewrites on my novel, Ordinary Boy, about a young man growing up in the ’80s who struggles with bullies, girlfriends, and a monstrous stepfather. It’s due out in early 2015 from Dark Alley Press. My next project is a novella about two sisters, one of whom is a zombie. It’s a sweet tale of sibling bonding, insults, and the undead. My own sister is undoubtedly thrilled that I’ve turned her into a decaying zombie in this tale.

Ursula:  Amber Wolf is a novel about Lithuanian resistance to the Soviet occupation of 1944. People from all walks of life moved to military-type camps in the primeval forests, and ran missions against Soviet strongholds.  I talk about living conditions, the source of weaponry, and some of the moral questions. Can you fight a brutal enemy without becoming brutal yourself?  


  2.  How does my work differ from others of its genre? 

Ursula: Amber Wolf is the only novel I am aware of that discusses the topic of Lithuanian resistance to the Soviets during WWII.  While it is historical fiction, I also incorporate some Lithuanian culture with phrases, folklore, and traditions, like saying a prayer to good health under a crescent of the moon.

Stacey: Maybe my work isn’t that different from others in my genre. I’ve been accused of copying Jeff Strand, emulating Neil Gaiman, and lifting entire plot points from Stephen King. (Check out my book, That, about a murderous alien clown that lives in the sewers.) In all seriousness, I tend to write funny horror, which is probably not that common.



  3. Why do I write what I do? 

Stacey: I write humor because there’s nothing in the world I enjoy more than laughing (except, perhaps, for a fresh Double Stuf ® Oreo). The horror thing came about because my husband kept badgering me. “You should try writing horror,” he’d say all the time, and I’d say “If you keep that up, I’m going to slit your throat, dismember your body, freeze it, and then feed the pieces through a wood chipper.” That’s about when I realized he might have a point.

Ursula: I’ve been writing for 4 years and my novels, Purple Trees and Amber Wolf are about topics that have always interested me. My great-grandparents were born in Lithuania, so Amber Wolf has special significance to me.
Purple Trees is about a woman with a tumultuous past that affected her relationship with her son. It is also about death, abuse, and life in the farming community of rural Massachusetts during the 1960s and 1970s. I grew up on a diary farm and wanted to talk about that lifestyle.

Stacey: You did? I grew up on a dairy farm, too.

Ursula: Really? Do you ever write about it?

Stacey: Sometimes . . .


  4.  How does my writing process work?

Stacey: My writing process is heavily fueled by caffeine. Also, I often get story ideas by thinking about people who have wronged me in the past, and trying to imagine creative ways to do them in. For instance, there was one girl, Sally, who wouldn’t let me sit with her on the school bus because our dairy farm was a bit odorous.  I recently wrote a short story in which a little girl named Sally finds herself in a dark field, surrounded by angry, carnivorous cows. Is it horror? I like to think of it as comedy.

Ursula: I write every day and try to stay organized so that all my writing contributes, somehow, to a story or novel. When the well is dry, I don’t force myself to write. I find that taking some time away from writing now and then helps ideas to gel.
A key part of my writing process involves a team effort where Stacey and I, along with two others, collaborate on the editing and marketing aspects of book publishing. For details, see our Susan Kaye Quinn post on collaboration.

Stacey: Well, yes, that answer was much more logical than mine. Good advice!

I highly recommend Ursula Wong’s writing and encourage everyone to check her out at  (http://ursulawong.wordpress.com). Ursula  is a retired Computer Engineer who lives in Massachusetts with her husband and daughter. Her work has appeared in Spinetingler and Every Day Fiction magazines. She is a winner of the New Hampshire Writer’s Project fiction SLAM contest and her work will appear in their upcoming e-book. While her roots are in rural New England, Ursula has traveled widely. She scuba-dives, swims, and is an avid hiker. Her first novel, Purple Trees, is available on Amazon.com.

Catherine Dougherty (http://catherinedougherty.com), a New Hampshire native, is a fiction author and a former newspaper reporter, columnist, photographer, and Real Estate/Business Broker.  She was the Lakes Region Coordinator of The Cozy Cap Project, making and donating thousands of hats for cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. She was editor of The Cozy Cap Project Newsletter, and currently volunteers as social media chair for The Greater Lakes Region Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. Her debut novel in Polyester Pajamas was published in June 2012 and won the NH Writers’ Project 2013/2014 Readers’ Choice Award for outstanding work of fiction. Her second novel in Woolen Bikinis was published in 2013, and her third novel is due to be released later in 2014. She has written several essays and poems, and is a featured author in the 2012-2013 publication 50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading presented by TheAuthorsShow.com.

 Author Rob Smales graduated from Salem State College in 1992 with a BA in English, but it wasn’t until late 2010 that he started writing, focusing on short stories as a way to learn both the craft and the business. In 2011 he achieved publication, selling the story Playmate Wanted to Dark Moon Books. In 2012 his story Photo Finish was nominated for a Pushcart Prize and won the Preditors & Editors “Readers Choice Award for Best Horror Short Story of 2012.” Rob’s first book, a collection titled Dead of Winter, was released in December 2013, and won the Superior Achievement in Dark Fiction Award from Firbolg Publishing's Gothic Library the following January. Dead of Winter was subsequently reviewed on DarkMedia.com as “an elegant, disturbing, and poignant look into the world of ghostly apparitions”. Rob resides in Salem Massachusetts, where he thinks, writes, and, occasionally, sleeps. Visit him at www.robsmales.com.