Thank you, security guard! I'm on vacation in Boston this week. Why Boston? Because hands down, it is the best city in the nation to eat your way through. This was, of course, before I had my recent health issue, in which my body said "Think you're gonna eat that? Ha!" This week, I countered with "Remember when I said I'd only eat things that were worth the pain? See that chocolate mousse cannoli? Worth it, lower digestive tract, so get ready for a hurtin'!" I fought with myself all week. Good times.
Monday, I trekked to the Massachusetts State House, because I'd spotted a statue of JFK. Here's the first thing I learned about Boston: your state house is really complicated. The stairs don't take you to the same floors as the elevators, and it is quite easy to get lost in there. Second thing: you sure do have some nice security guards. This one guy put me on the right path no less than four times. He only called me names under his breath twice. Sweet guy.
I stopped for a kielbasa dog, cookies, and chocolates. All worth it.
Monday, I trekked to the Massachusetts State House, because I'd spotted a statue of JFK. Here's the first thing I learned about Boston: your state house is really complicated. The stairs don't take you to the same floors as the elevators, and it is quite easy to get lost in there. Second thing: you sure do have some nice security guards. This one guy put me on the right path no less than four times. He only called me names under his breath twice. Sweet guy.
I stopped for a kielbasa dog, cookies, and chocolates. All worth it.
That's Rob. And no, I wasn't kidding about the Teddy shirt. Tuesday was a trip to both the JFK Museum and the Edward Kennedy Institute. Finally—the perfect place for me to wear my Teddy Kennedy tee shirt! Then it was onward to the aquarium, which reminded me that for all that I knock Connecticut, Mystic Aquarium is pretty impressive. Later in the day, Jason and I met up with author Rob Watts for dinner and a trek to Mike's Pastry for the aforementioned cannoli.
Tuesday's food tally: Asiago bagel, peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream, fish tacos, chocolate mousse cannoli, Italian cookies. Worth it, worth it, worth it, so worth it, maybe not worth it but I ate the whole half pound anyway.
Tuesday's food tally: Asiago bagel, peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream, fish tacos, chocolate mousse cannoli, Italian cookies. Worth it, worth it, worth it, so worth it, maybe not worth it but I ate the whole half pound anyway.
Found it! Wednesday, my stomach was in full revolt. I woke up sick and stayed that way. We did trek over to the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, but had to make an emergency run to the Minute Man Visitor's Center, the closest place with plumbing facilities. Their composting toilets were memorable. I'm sure they'll remember me, too. I was there six times in two hours.
Wednesday's food tally: one half-melted Italian ice.
On Thursday, I was mad. I'd lost a full day of eating. We got up early to search for the Edgar Allan Poe statue, which by the way, is not exactly located at the corner of Boylston and Charles like the maps say. You have to search a little. I may have gotten lost. Incidentally, my friend the state house security guard found me wandering through Boston Commons, sighed loudly when he recognized me, and guided me right to Poe himself. Thank you again, Mr. John Doe! I'd email you to thank you personally, but the address you gave me keeps bouncing back.
Next up was the science museum. It was fine, but there were a lot of kids, and I am not child-friendly. I wanted to leave. I had something else on my mind.
Wednesday's food tally: one half-melted Italian ice.
On Thursday, I was mad. I'd lost a full day of eating. We got up early to search for the Edgar Allan Poe statue, which by the way, is not exactly located at the corner of Boylston and Charles like the maps say. You have to search a little. I may have gotten lost. Incidentally, my friend the state house security guard found me wandering through Boston Commons, sighed loudly when he recognized me, and guided me right to Poe himself. Thank you again, Mr. John Doe! I'd email you to thank you personally, but the address you gave me keeps bouncing back.
Next up was the science museum. It was fine, but there were a lot of kids, and I am not child-friendly. I wanted to leave. I had something else on my mind.
This. All week, my stomach had selfishly ignored my pleas for it to behave. At one point, it had even rejected coffee. It was the ultimate act of betrayal. And my stomach would pay.
We hiked on over to Quincy Market, where my well-planned revenge was waiting: rich, creamy clam chowder in a bulky, warm bread bowl. My gut clenched just looking at it. I did not care. That thing was gettin' in my belly, no matter how loudly my stomach protested. I rolled over a CD to pay for my chowder bowl, and sat down to eat.
I finished it in ten minutes flat. I was doubled over in pain twenty minutes later. And that, my friends, is how you vacation in my world.
Worth it.
We hiked on over to Quincy Market, where my well-planned revenge was waiting: rich, creamy clam chowder in a bulky, warm bread bowl. My gut clenched just looking at it. I did not care. That thing was gettin' in my belly, no matter how loudly my stomach protested. I rolled over a CD to pay for my chowder bowl, and sat down to eat.
I finished it in ten minutes flat. I was doubled over in pain twenty minutes later. And that, my friends, is how you vacation in my world.
Worth it.
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