When I was first told that my severe intestinal distress, body rashes, and general misery might be because of gluten, I was in denial. Surely pizza, which had given me so much pleasure in my daily life, couldn't be the problem. Could it?
But it was. And facing a life--in which, I might add, food equals love in my family--didn't sound fun . . . it sounded like a death sentence.
I'm happy to report that going gluten free is not as horrible as it sounds. I can still eat rice, potatoes, and risotto, and there are tons of gluten-free pasta and bread options out there now. So, as you might imagine, I was in high spirits when I drove to Whole Foods in Glastonbury, the mecca (I thought) of gluten-free options.
Here's what I expect from my local Whole Foods: fresh produce, a discount because I'm an Amazon Prime member, cool paper bags, and gluten-free crap in every aisle. None of this happened. As soon as I walked in, I made a beeline to where they USED to shelve the gluten-free apple fritters. Today, the shelves were packed with vegan scones.
Yuck.
Scones, by the way, suck. They're dry and flavorless and gross. But I still had high hopes. Surely they'd have gluten-free dough and chips and pirogies, right?
Ha! You naive little butterfly! No such luck. The only gluten-free thing they had was cheese, which admittedly, I bought 500 dollars worth. They had no gluten-free chips. They had no pirogies, flourless or otherwise. And dough? No such luck. They told me to try the bakery up the street.
After I rolled over a CD to pay for my one bag of groceries, I drove to said bakery. They had everything I'd ever fantasized about since having to eliminate gluten: ravioli, iced cakes, whoopee pies. It was amazing. I spent a mortgage payment there. It was worth it.
"Do you have dough?" I asked, perhaps naively. The woman behind the counter shot me a death glare.
"If we sold dough, you wouldn't need to buy whoopee pies from us, would you?"
She had a point.
If you have to go gluten free, I can assure you that it isn't as hard as it sounds. Most meat, all veggies, and all fruits are safe. You know what isn't safe? Asking the local gluten-free bakery for a batch of their dough.
But it was. And facing a life--in which, I might add, food equals love in my family--didn't sound fun . . . it sounded like a death sentence.
I'm happy to report that going gluten free is not as horrible as it sounds. I can still eat rice, potatoes, and risotto, and there are tons of gluten-free pasta and bread options out there now. So, as you might imagine, I was in high spirits when I drove to Whole Foods in Glastonbury, the mecca (I thought) of gluten-free options.
Here's what I expect from my local Whole Foods: fresh produce, a discount because I'm an Amazon Prime member, cool paper bags, and gluten-free crap in every aisle. None of this happened. As soon as I walked in, I made a beeline to where they USED to shelve the gluten-free apple fritters. Today, the shelves were packed with vegan scones.
Yuck.
Scones, by the way, suck. They're dry and flavorless and gross. But I still had high hopes. Surely they'd have gluten-free dough and chips and pirogies, right?
Ha! You naive little butterfly! No such luck. The only gluten-free thing they had was cheese, which admittedly, I bought 500 dollars worth. They had no gluten-free chips. They had no pirogies, flourless or otherwise. And dough? No such luck. They told me to try the bakery up the street.
After I rolled over a CD to pay for my one bag of groceries, I drove to said bakery. They had everything I'd ever fantasized about since having to eliminate gluten: ravioli, iced cakes, whoopee pies. It was amazing. I spent a mortgage payment there. It was worth it.
"Do you have dough?" I asked, perhaps naively. The woman behind the counter shot me a death glare.
"If we sold dough, you wouldn't need to buy whoopee pies from us, would you?"
She had a point.
If you have to go gluten free, I can assure you that it isn't as hard as it sounds. Most meat, all veggies, and all fruits are safe. You know what isn't safe? Asking the local gluten-free bakery for a batch of their dough.
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