Listen, gentle reader: if you’ve been reading this blog for the past ten years, or even the past ten days, you know me. You know that out of all the holidays, I dislike Christmas most of all. Admittedly this doesn’t make me much fun to be around this time of year, and I’ve chalked up exactly zero invitations to holiday parties, including the one my company is throwing. But in 2017, I was faced with a realization: there is one thing—or should I say, one very specific someone—who actually brought a smile to this grinchy face of mine.
Was it a Christmas miracle? Did my heart grow three sizes or some other sort of holiday magical nonsense?
No. Don’t get your hopes up.
But like I said, not once, but twice even, I cracked a grin this holiday season.
The first was a Rock meme, posted on my Facebook wall at the end of November.
And for the first time in years, I was okay with a holiday picture.
Then, just this week, a friend sent me a picture of the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, accompanied with the message, Look what came in the mail today!
You see that line on the bottom? “You’re getting Dwayne Johnson for Christmas!” And I thought, I can get on board with that. I may have even giggled—unheard of from me in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas!
I think Piper Kernan said it best, in her memoir Orange is the New Black: “I have seen with my own eyes the power of the Rock. The Rock is a uniter, not a divider. When the BOP showed Walking Tall, the turnout for every screening all weekend long was unprecedented. The Rock has an effect on women that transcends divisions of race, age, cultural background—even social class, the most impenetrable barrier in America. Black, white, Spanish, old, young; all women are hot for the Rock. Even the lesbians agreed that he was mighty easy on the eyes.”
To top it all off, my husband got us tickets to a sneak preview of Jumanji tonight, which, incidentally, stars Dwayne Johnson himself.
Best December I’ve had in decades. And I promise you this, my friends: get the Rock to show up at your holiday party, and I will be there—with bells on.
Was it a Christmas miracle? Did my heart grow three sizes or some other sort of holiday magical nonsense?
No. Don’t get your hopes up.
But like I said, not once, but twice even, I cracked a grin this holiday season.
The first was a Rock meme, posted on my Facebook wall at the end of November.
And for the first time in years, I was okay with a holiday picture.
Then, just this week, a friend sent me a picture of the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, accompanied with the message, Look what came in the mail today!
You see that line on the bottom? “You’re getting Dwayne Johnson for Christmas!” And I thought, I can get on board with that. I may have even giggled—unheard of from me in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas!
I think Piper Kernan said it best, in her memoir Orange is the New Black: “I have seen with my own eyes the power of the Rock. The Rock is a uniter, not a divider. When the BOP showed Walking Tall, the turnout for every screening all weekend long was unprecedented. The Rock has an effect on women that transcends divisions of race, age, cultural background—even social class, the most impenetrable barrier in America. Black, white, Spanish, old, young; all women are hot for the Rock. Even the lesbians agreed that he was mighty easy on the eyes.”
To top it all off, my husband got us tickets to a sneak preview of Jumanji tonight, which, incidentally, stars Dwayne Johnson himself.
Best December I’ve had in decades. And I promise you this, my friends: get the Rock to show up at your holiday party, and I will be there—with bells on.
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