I've met a lot of famous people over the years, for which I'm thankful. These encounters don't always go as planned. Here are some real-life encounters I've had, how I'd hoped they would go, and how they really went.
Christopher Walken
I had the opportunity about 10 years ago to deliver a Fedex package to Christopher Walken. Here's how I imagined it would go:
Me: Mr. Walken, it's an honor to meet you. I know you're more famous for movies like The Deer Hunter, but I have to say your comedic timing is spot-on. I thought you were brilliant on the Saturday Night Live 25th anniversary special.
Christopher Walken: You're brilliant. Let's have dinner.
That's not exactly how it went in real life. Here's what happened when I pulled into his driveway:
Christopher Walken: Who are you? You're not the regular FedEx driver. I'm calling the cops.
Me: No, wait! The Fedex guy got a flat tire and I'm his wife. Here! (Thrusts package into his chest, causing him to fall backwards.)
Christopher Walken: Thanks, I guess. Go away now.
Me (beaming like an idiot): No, thank you! (Runs for the car to call sister and brag about meeting Christopher Walken.)
Tom Brady
The famous Patriots quarterback once vacationed on Block Island. Here's how I thought it would go:
Me: Hey, I know you. Did we go to high school together or something?
Tom Brady: You mean you have no idea who I am? How refreshing! Let me dump my supermodel girlfriend and we'll have dinner.
The reality was a little different. First of all, I watched this jerk refuse to sign an autograph for an 8-year-old because he was on vacation and "didn't want to draw attention" to himself. Then he proceeded to take off his shirt and toss a football with his supermodel girlfriend right in the center of New Harbor. So here's how our meeting went:
Tom Brady (flexing and posing shirtless): Please, I just want to enjoy my vacation. (Spikes a football at the edge of Payne's Dock.)
Me (driving by in a pickup truck with unidentifiable plates): You throw like a girl!
Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran
This was the man of my dreams for many, many years. When my sister won backstage passes to meet Duran Duran in 2007, it was the highlight of my life. Here's how I imagined it would go:
Me: Nick! Can you please pose for a picture with me?
Nick Rhodes: Of course I can.
Me: This is so exciting. You don't understand. I was going to be the mother of your children.
Nick Rhodes: Yes, I can see you're clearly the woman of my dreams. Screw dinner; let's get married.
Here's what actually happened:
Me: Nick! Can you please pose for a picture with me?
Nick Rhodes: Of course I can.
Me: This is so exciting. You don't understand. I was going to be the mother of your children.
Nick Rhodes: Security!
So you see, you can plan and plan for your famous celebrity interaction, but you really never know how it will go. This weekend, I'll be at Rhode Island Comicon, where my teenage crush, C. Thomas "Tommy" Howell will also be. Will I be running off to Hollywood with Ponyboy? Probably not. But a girl can dream, can't she?
Christopher Walken
I had the opportunity about 10 years ago to deliver a Fedex package to Christopher Walken. Here's how I imagined it would go:
Me: Mr. Walken, it's an honor to meet you. I know you're more famous for movies like The Deer Hunter, but I have to say your comedic timing is spot-on. I thought you were brilliant on the Saturday Night Live 25th anniversary special.
Christopher Walken: You're brilliant. Let's have dinner.
That's not exactly how it went in real life. Here's what happened when I pulled into his driveway:
Christopher Walken: Who are you? You're not the regular FedEx driver. I'm calling the cops.
Me: No, wait! The Fedex guy got a flat tire and I'm his wife. Here! (Thrusts package into his chest, causing him to fall backwards.)
Christopher Walken: Thanks, I guess. Go away now.
Me (beaming like an idiot): No, thank you! (Runs for the car to call sister and brag about meeting Christopher Walken.)
Tom Brady
The famous Patriots quarterback once vacationed on Block Island. Here's how I thought it would go:
Me: Hey, I know you. Did we go to high school together or something?
Tom Brady: You mean you have no idea who I am? How refreshing! Let me dump my supermodel girlfriend and we'll have dinner.
The reality was a little different. First of all, I watched this jerk refuse to sign an autograph for an 8-year-old because he was on vacation and "didn't want to draw attention" to himself. Then he proceeded to take off his shirt and toss a football with his supermodel girlfriend right in the center of New Harbor. So here's how our meeting went:
Tom Brady (flexing and posing shirtless): Please, I just want to enjoy my vacation. (Spikes a football at the edge of Payne's Dock.)
Me (driving by in a pickup truck with unidentifiable plates): You throw like a girl!
Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran
This was the man of my dreams for many, many years. When my sister won backstage passes to meet Duran Duran in 2007, it was the highlight of my life. Here's how I imagined it would go:
Me: Nick! Can you please pose for a picture with me?
Nick Rhodes: Of course I can.
Me: This is so exciting. You don't understand. I was going to be the mother of your children.
Nick Rhodes: Yes, I can see you're clearly the woman of my dreams. Screw dinner; let's get married.
Here's what actually happened:
Me: Nick! Can you please pose for a picture with me?
Nick Rhodes: Of course I can.
Me: This is so exciting. You don't understand. I was going to be the mother of your children.
Nick Rhodes: Security!
So you see, you can plan and plan for your famous celebrity interaction, but you really never know how it will go. This weekend, I'll be at Rhode Island Comicon, where my teenage crush, C. Thomas "Tommy" Howell will also be. Will I be running off to Hollywood with Ponyboy? Probably not. But a girl can dream, can't she?
No, really! Security!
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