My shoe size has gone up; I keep shopping for long sweaters and baggy skirts; people no longer ask me if I’ve made a mistake when I accidentally wander into the “plus size” section. It’s time to face the truth: I need to go on a diet (again).
I have heard of people who can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. I’m pretty sure these types of people don’t really exist, if only because the rest of us have hunted them down and locked them up in Hostess factories until they develop double chins and saddle bags.
I hate dieting. HAAAATTTTEEE it! (And that, for you aspiring writers out there, is how you translate whining to paper.) I hate the idea of eating LESS and exercising MORE. None of that sounds like fun. But, as I’ve spent the last four months eating more and exercising less (and lets face it, I was darn close to sedentary to begin with), I have managed to put on 9 pounds in four months. This may not sound like much, but since I had already put on 7 pounds in six months before that, I’m up almost 20 pounds in less than a year.
I’ve tried many diets. I was a big fan of Atkins, since it allows me to eat lots of cheese and bacon, but when I was on it I found myself having dreams in which I would swim in seas of pasta, which just freaked me out. Plus, my cholesterol shot through the roof, so Atkins is out.
Ditto for South Beach, mostly because their frozen meals taste like cardboard topped with chunky vomit. Dr. Phil’s diet is also off the table, because he requires you to work hard, make fresh meals every day, and hold yourself accountable for your failures. That sounds likehard work. I already am not happy with my weight – why do I want to feel bad about my life choices, too? No thanks, Phil.
I’ve decided to return to Weight Watchers, since I’ve done it before and I know it works. I signed up online this morning, and immediately found that the points system I’d had memorized is completely obsolete. They’ve completely revamped their program. AND the coffee with non-dairy creamer (1 PointsPlus for the creamer) and handful of brazil nuts (30 PointsPlus, 5 points for each nut) I’d already eaten this morning had caused me to burn through my entire points allowance for the day, plus some. Sigh.
The good news is that all fruits are now zero points in value. Which is very good news for me and my beloved Hostess fruit pies! See, dieting can be fun if you just get a little creative with it…
I have heard of people who can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound. I’m pretty sure these types of people don’t really exist, if only because the rest of us have hunted them down and locked them up in Hostess factories until they develop double chins and saddle bags.
I hate dieting. HAAAATTTTEEE it! (And that, for you aspiring writers out there, is how you translate whining to paper.) I hate the idea of eating LESS and exercising MORE. None of that sounds like fun. But, as I’ve spent the last four months eating more and exercising less (and lets face it, I was darn close to sedentary to begin with), I have managed to put on 9 pounds in four months. This may not sound like much, but since I had already put on 7 pounds in six months before that, I’m up almost 20 pounds in less than a year.
I’ve tried many diets. I was a big fan of Atkins, since it allows me to eat lots of cheese and bacon, but when I was on it I found myself having dreams in which I would swim in seas of pasta, which just freaked me out. Plus, my cholesterol shot through the roof, so Atkins is out.
Ditto for South Beach, mostly because their frozen meals taste like cardboard topped with chunky vomit. Dr. Phil’s diet is also off the table, because he requires you to work hard, make fresh meals every day, and hold yourself accountable for your failures. That sounds likehard work. I already am not happy with my weight – why do I want to feel bad about my life choices, too? No thanks, Phil.
I’ve decided to return to Weight Watchers, since I’ve done it before and I know it works. I signed up online this morning, and immediately found that the points system I’d had memorized is completely obsolete. They’ve completely revamped their program. AND the coffee with non-dairy creamer (1 PointsPlus for the creamer) and handful of brazil nuts (30 PointsPlus, 5 points for each nut) I’d already eaten this morning had caused me to burn through my entire points allowance for the day, plus some. Sigh.
The good news is that all fruits are now zero points in value. Which is very good news for me and my beloved Hostess fruit pies! See, dieting can be fun if you just get a little creative with it…
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