Recently, a former coworker of mine messaged me on Facebook to let me know she was hosting a "Go Sugarless" challenge. Did I want to join?
She's been posting her before and after pictures, and I have to admit she looks spectacular these days. clearly, eliminating sugar from her diet, plus working out every day, has done wonders for her. Go Jen, I say.
But my diet is already restricted. Gluten does terrible things to my digestive tract, so no wheat, barley, rye, triticale, or oats for me. Plus my gastroenterologist also recommended removing all artificial sweeteners from my menu, as the bad bacteria in your gut thrives on it. You know what that leaves? Rice. And sugar.
Now before you dismiss me as some sort of granola hippie, let me assure you I am not. I've found a variety of non-salady, non-natural things with which to supplement my diet. Did you know Tootsie Rolls are gluten free? And Milk Duds? That's right, there's a plethora of fabulous snacks in the candy aisle to choose from, all made without gluten, and with corn syrup. Delicious, fabulous corn syrup.
Proteins are pretty easy, too. I have to watch out for fillers in sausage and cures on hams, but otherwise, unless it's breaded, I can eat meat. And eggs. But wait: recent studies show eggs are bad for us again. You know what? Those people doing these studies should mind their own stinking business. My great-grandfather ate eggs every day and bathed in bacon grease, and he lived to be 89. (I think. Or he died of a coronary when he was 60. One or the other.) If you're going to take away my pasta and replace it with a crappy rice substitute, I'm eating it with eggs and syrup.
But back to Jen and her "Go Sugarless" challenge. My first response, of course, was to get mad. Are you calling me fat? I replied. She assured me she was not, explaining that most found it easier to quit sugar if they have a support group. Sugar and caffeine are two of the most addictive substances in the world, she added.
Sugar . . . and caffeine?
I could see where this was headed. And let me assure you: you can take away my pasta, and my bread, and even my cookies. But nobody—not even the skinny healthy chick I worked with ten years ago who really does look terrific these days—is going to take away my coffee. Was she insane? (When I told both my husband and my editing partner about this, they also texted Jen with the same question: Are you INSANE? Or simply trying to get us killed?)
And this is the story of why I blocked my friend Jen on Facebook.
She's been posting her before and after pictures, and I have to admit she looks spectacular these days. clearly, eliminating sugar from her diet, plus working out every day, has done wonders for her. Go Jen, I say.
But my diet is already restricted. Gluten does terrible things to my digestive tract, so no wheat, barley, rye, triticale, or oats for me. Plus my gastroenterologist also recommended removing all artificial sweeteners from my menu, as the bad bacteria in your gut thrives on it. You know what that leaves? Rice. And sugar.
Now before you dismiss me as some sort of granola hippie, let me assure you I am not. I've found a variety of non-salady, non-natural things with which to supplement my diet. Did you know Tootsie Rolls are gluten free? And Milk Duds? That's right, there's a plethora of fabulous snacks in the candy aisle to choose from, all made without gluten, and with corn syrup. Delicious, fabulous corn syrup.
Proteins are pretty easy, too. I have to watch out for fillers in sausage and cures on hams, but otherwise, unless it's breaded, I can eat meat. And eggs. But wait: recent studies show eggs are bad for us again. You know what? Those people doing these studies should mind their own stinking business. My great-grandfather ate eggs every day and bathed in bacon grease, and he lived to be 89. (I think. Or he died of a coronary when he was 60. One or the other.) If you're going to take away my pasta and replace it with a crappy rice substitute, I'm eating it with eggs and syrup.
But back to Jen and her "Go Sugarless" challenge. My first response, of course, was to get mad. Are you calling me fat? I replied. She assured me she was not, explaining that most found it easier to quit sugar if they have a support group. Sugar and caffeine are two of the most addictive substances in the world, she added.
Sugar . . . and caffeine?
I could see where this was headed. And let me assure you: you can take away my pasta, and my bread, and even my cookies. But nobody—not even the skinny healthy chick I worked with ten years ago who really does look terrific these days—is going to take away my coffee. Was she insane? (When I told both my husband and my editing partner about this, they also texted Jen with the same question: Are you INSANE? Or simply trying to get us killed?)
And this is the story of why I blocked my friend Jen on Facebook.
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