Banned Books

In honor of Banned Books Week, I thought it would be fun to look at my favorite banned books from years past. Undoubtedly, they corrupted me beyond repair. (Hint to the powers that be: if you don’t want someone to read something, don’t make a fuss about it. When you do, it makes people want to form a whole week dedicated to celebrating the very books you tried to quash.)

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
I can’t figure out what the problem was with this book. Perhaps it portrayed the military and the futility of war in a bad light. I can promise the powers that be that what I took away from this book was a keen appreciation for absurd humor. Promoting a guy named Major Major Major to major? That’s funny.

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
I loved this book! The trials of a family trying to transport their dead wife/mother’s body across the state, with pit stops for extramarital affairs with preachers, an abortion, the accidental desecration of a body, taking the Lord’s name in vain . . . I just can’t figure out why this thing was banned.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
This novel committed the ultimate sin of describing war as brutal and horrible. Though now that I think about it, I’m not sure if it was banned for telling the truth, or for portraying anti-fascist guerrilla leader Pablo as a man who has some issues with all the senseless killing and maiming and torturing. Shame, shame, Papa H., for encouraging people to think for themselves. Sacrilege!

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
This horrendous pile of garbage portrays a woman, Scarlett O’Hara, who sometimes uses sex to advance her position in life (gasp!) and even seems to like fooling around with Rhett Butler (the horror!). I can see how the powers that be would want this novel banned and all copies burned—when womenfolk start getting ideas, and enjoying sex, well, that can only lead to anarchy.

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Huh? My biggest problem with this book was trying to keep the characters straight, plus, it was a bit boring at times. Yet the powers that be seem to be all for mind-numbing boredom, so that can’t be it. This one’s appearance on the Banned Books list is a stumper.
So there you have it: novels we’ve been told we should never, ever read. I’ve read ‘em—and a whole lot more from this list of banned books, and I turned out perfectly normal, right?
 
Right?
 
Give them a whirl. You’ll thank me for it later.