I was just reading an online article about dating tips (only because I like to read, whether it's tips on dating or the back of a ketchup packet) and really, these people writing these self-help for singles articles are ridiculous. They are LYING to you, ladies! I remember being single, and NONE of these suggestions really work. For example, they say to meet a man, go to:
1. Church. Sure, you will see lots of men at church. Accompanied by their wife and children. If you do happen across the rare single man in the pew next to you and you do hit it off, remember: now you have to keep going to church. Is it really worth it?
2. The Supermarket. The only guy I've met at the supermarket that struck up a conversation with me actually opened with the line "Hey, I like your melons." This is not the kind of man with whom I want a long- term relationship!
3. The Local Bookstore. The theory here is that if you go somewhere of interest to you, you will meet someone with whom you already share a common interest. It's a lie, ladies. Have you seen some of the creeps that hang around the stacks at Barnes & Noble? The men who go there to find a good book are really only interested in finding a good book, not cruising for chicks. Plus, if you're an avid reader like me, you yourself will have your nose stuck in a novella and quickly shush Prince Charming if he happens to ask you to direct him to the biographies.
If you want to meet a man, here's where you really should hang out:
1. The Bar. Time-tested and true, this is the place to find a guy. If you flirt shamelessly and act a little drunk, chances are, you won't be going home alone that night! And really, half the time those one night stands DO pan out to a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, it's usually with a drunk.
2. Work. I hate saying that, because this is a Human Resources nightmare, but really, you spend more time at work than anywhere else. And you're working with people who (presumably) share the same career goals and interests and have the same problems with corporate as you do. Just never, ever, date your boss or your subordinate. That would be very bad.
3. Online. Although there is some social stigma attached to this, it's rapidly becoming more and more acceptable, especially as more people do it. Just be smart about it, ladies. Don't lie about your age, because if you do meet Mr. Right, you will eventually have to tell him you are a liar. Don't use an old photo or your "thin" shots if you've put on a few (40) pounds. You will only get your feelings hurt when you do meet. And be wary of those who would lie to you. If his profile photo makes him look like a Calvin Klein model, he's lying (and possibly looking to scam you). If he says he's 6' 2" and you can see his grandmother towering over him in his profile pic, he's lying. And if he has a white band of skin on the finger where a wedding band should be, he is a liar, liar, pants on fire!
I hope these tips have been helpful for all my single friends. I will now resume my life as a smug married.
1. Church. Sure, you will see lots of men at church. Accompanied by their wife and children. If you do happen across the rare single man in the pew next to you and you do hit it off, remember: now you have to keep going to church. Is it really worth it?
2. The Supermarket. The only guy I've met at the supermarket that struck up a conversation with me actually opened with the line "Hey, I like your melons." This is not the kind of man with whom I want a long- term relationship!
3. The Local Bookstore. The theory here is that if you go somewhere of interest to you, you will meet someone with whom you already share a common interest. It's a lie, ladies. Have you seen some of the creeps that hang around the stacks at Barnes & Noble? The men who go there to find a good book are really only interested in finding a good book, not cruising for chicks. Plus, if you're an avid reader like me, you yourself will have your nose stuck in a novella and quickly shush Prince Charming if he happens to ask you to direct him to the biographies.
If you want to meet a man, here's where you really should hang out:
1. The Bar. Time-tested and true, this is the place to find a guy. If you flirt shamelessly and act a little drunk, chances are, you won't be going home alone that night! And really, half the time those one night stands DO pan out to a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, it's usually with a drunk.
2. Work. I hate saying that, because this is a Human Resources nightmare, but really, you spend more time at work than anywhere else. And you're working with people who (presumably) share the same career goals and interests and have the same problems with corporate as you do. Just never, ever, date your boss or your subordinate. That would be very bad.
3. Online. Although there is some social stigma attached to this, it's rapidly becoming more and more acceptable, especially as more people do it. Just be smart about it, ladies. Don't lie about your age, because if you do meet Mr. Right, you will eventually have to tell him you are a liar. Don't use an old photo or your "thin" shots if you've put on a few (40) pounds. You will only get your feelings hurt when you do meet. And be wary of those who would lie to you. If his profile photo makes him look like a Calvin Klein model, he's lying (and possibly looking to scam you). If he says he's 6' 2" and you can see his grandmother towering over him in his profile pic, he's lying. And if he has a white band of skin on the finger where a wedding band should be, he is a liar, liar, pants on fire!
I hope these tips have been helpful for all my single friends. I will now resume my life as a smug married.
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