Being in bed all weekend with my knee propped up and carefully portioning out Oxycontin so I don't become addicted has left me with a lot of time on my hands. Couple that with free HBO and Showtime this month, and you can imagine what I've been doing the past few days. That's right - I've been watching a lot of crappy movies. Watching Megapython vs. Gatoroid, with its insta-classic catfight scene between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson, has inspired me to make a list of my favorite horror movies.
Note: these are my favorite horror movies of all time, not necessarily what you believe are the best horror movies of all time. Your gripes that The Exorcist is not included are not welcomed nor appreciated. I didn't see it until I was 32 and I'd built it up in my mind so much that when I did see The Exorcist, it just didn't scare me that much.
10. The Lost Boys (1987, starring Jason Patric, Keifer Sutherland, the two Coreys, and Alexander Winter) Before there was Twilight, there was this original teen vampire movie, a drool fest for every teenage girl in the 80s. Keifer Sutherland as David, the supercool vampire who tricks Jason Patric into becoming one of the undead? Bite me...please!
9. The Nightmare on Elm Street Series (1984 - 2003, Robert Englund) I love it when the scary bad guy has a sense of humor. Robert Englund hamming it up as the razor-fingered child murderer makes these films my favorite guilty pleasure.
8. Frozen (2010, cast of unknowns) What is your biggest fear? To lose your loved ones? To die alone? Mine has always been to be eaten by wolves. This movie delivers on my worst nightmare tenfold.
7. Pet Sematary (1989, Fred Gwynn, Denise Crosby) The book by Stephen King scared me so badly my hair went prematurely gray at the age of 11. Why I thought it would be a good idea to then watch the movie is beyond me. Forget the little kid with the knife - the mangled cat still terrifies me today.
6. The Changeling (1980, George C. Scott) This movie has little blood, gore, and absolutely no zombies, but it still made me jump out of my skin. A simple ghost story about a man staying in a haunted mansion...still up there as one of the scariest movies I've ever seen.
5. The Shining (1980, Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall) I KNOW Stanley Kubrick butchered the novel by Stephen King, but the result was still a great movie. Jack Torrance takes a job as the winter caretaker of a haunted hotel and drags his wife and son along. As a writer, the idea of isolating oneself in a creepy hotel for the winter to work on the Great American Novel is definately appealing to me. Going stir crazy (or just regular crazy) and hacking my family to bits...the scariest part of this movie is that it could happen. Except for the creepy twin girls randomly apparating in the hallway. That probably wouldn't happen in real life.
4. Student Bodies (1981, cast of unknowns) My BFF in high school, Laura, made me watch this movie, thus proving herself to be the best BFF ever. This horror movie spoof about a killer named The Breather stalking a high school still makes me laugh out loud and wet my pants a little bit every time I watch it.
3. Psycho (1960, Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh) Alfred Hitchcock is my favorite director of all time, and like many, many people, this is my favorite movie by Hitch. Plus, I thought Norman Bates was just adorable. A little too attached to his mother, maybe, but still a cutie pie.
2. The Silence of the Lambs (1991, Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster) The most disturbing thing about this movie was that the bad guy...was someone you kind of wanted to root for. Dr. Hannibal Lecter is brilliant, enchanting, entertaining, and a sadistic cannibal. What scared me the most was that I would have definately dated that guy if I'd ever met him. Then he'd eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
1. Poltergeist (1982, Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams) This movie has always scared me and continues to terrify me. I first saw it when I was 9 years old at a sleepover party, and I still have occasional nightmares about kid-eating trees and possessed stuffed clowns to this day. I watched it again when I was 30 and had to sleep over my parents' house that night because I was afraid to be in my house alone until I could verify with the assessor's office that it hadn't been built on an indian burial ground.
Feel free to argue, rant, commend, or ridicule my list as you see fit. I'm off to check my closets to make sure there are no portals to other dimensions in there.
Note: these are my favorite horror movies of all time, not necessarily what you believe are the best horror movies of all time. Your gripes that The Exorcist is not included are not welcomed nor appreciated. I didn't see it until I was 32 and I'd built it up in my mind so much that when I did see The Exorcist, it just didn't scare me that much.
10. The Lost Boys (1987, starring Jason Patric, Keifer Sutherland, the two Coreys, and Alexander Winter) Before there was Twilight, there was this original teen vampire movie, a drool fest for every teenage girl in the 80s. Keifer Sutherland as David, the supercool vampire who tricks Jason Patric into becoming one of the undead? Bite me...please!
9. The Nightmare on Elm Street Series (1984 - 2003, Robert Englund) I love it when the scary bad guy has a sense of humor. Robert Englund hamming it up as the razor-fingered child murderer makes these films my favorite guilty pleasure.
8. Frozen (2010, cast of unknowns) What is your biggest fear? To lose your loved ones? To die alone? Mine has always been to be eaten by wolves. This movie delivers on my worst nightmare tenfold.
7. Pet Sematary (1989, Fred Gwynn, Denise Crosby) The book by Stephen King scared me so badly my hair went prematurely gray at the age of 11. Why I thought it would be a good idea to then watch the movie is beyond me. Forget the little kid with the knife - the mangled cat still terrifies me today.
6. The Changeling (1980, George C. Scott) This movie has little blood, gore, and absolutely no zombies, but it still made me jump out of my skin. A simple ghost story about a man staying in a haunted mansion...still up there as one of the scariest movies I've ever seen.
5. The Shining (1980, Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall) I KNOW Stanley Kubrick butchered the novel by Stephen King, but the result was still a great movie. Jack Torrance takes a job as the winter caretaker of a haunted hotel and drags his wife and son along. As a writer, the idea of isolating oneself in a creepy hotel for the winter to work on the Great American Novel is definately appealing to me. Going stir crazy (or just regular crazy) and hacking my family to bits...the scariest part of this movie is that it could happen. Except for the creepy twin girls randomly apparating in the hallway. That probably wouldn't happen in real life.
4. Student Bodies (1981, cast of unknowns) My BFF in high school, Laura, made me watch this movie, thus proving herself to be the best BFF ever. This horror movie spoof about a killer named The Breather stalking a high school still makes me laugh out loud and wet my pants a little bit every time I watch it.
3. Psycho (1960, Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh) Alfred Hitchcock is my favorite director of all time, and like many, many people, this is my favorite movie by Hitch. Plus, I thought Norman Bates was just adorable. A little too attached to his mother, maybe, but still a cutie pie.
2. The Silence of the Lambs (1991, Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster) The most disturbing thing about this movie was that the bad guy...was someone you kind of wanted to root for. Dr. Hannibal Lecter is brilliant, enchanting, entertaining, and a sadistic cannibal. What scared me the most was that I would have definately dated that guy if I'd ever met him. Then he'd eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
1. Poltergeist (1982, Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams) This movie has always scared me and continues to terrify me. I first saw it when I was 9 years old at a sleepover party, and I still have occasional nightmares about kid-eating trees and possessed stuffed clowns to this day. I watched it again when I was 30 and had to sleep over my parents' house that night because I was afraid to be in my house alone until I could verify with the assessor's office that it hadn't been built on an indian burial ground.
Feel free to argue, rant, commend, or ridicule my list as you see fit. I'm off to check my closets to make sure there are no portals to other dimensions in there.
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