I’m not just talking about seeing an actor on television and saying “That’s the guy who played ‘coffee drinker #2’ on General Hospital back in 1996 when Carly and Sonny got into that fight over lattes” (though I do do that, and yes, I’m aware it’s annoying). Here’s where it is a blessing: when I meet someone at an event, and then see them again, say, a year later, I will remember that person’s name, where we met, and that we spent twenty minutes during that encounter talking about how awesome Laurie Metcalf was as Jackie on Roseanne.
Great, right? But here’s the problem: I’ve found that if I see someone every day, say, at the office, and we’ve never been introduced, I can’t not give them a name anyway. Some people might call this OCD or the sign of severe mental illness. I’m going to stick with “quirky.”
Here are the people I work with:
- Security guard who works M–W: Cutie McHottie
- Security guard who works Th–F: Scowly McCrankypants
- Travis, the guy who was a year behind me in high school
- Lisa* one half of the twins that were two years ahead of me in high school
- *might be Lori
- Magnificent Beard Man
- Archie Bunker**
- **This guy looks like nobody so much as Carroll O’Connor in a seventies sitcom. I do suspect that this is probably not his real name, though.
- Scott Who Is Not Brian***
- ***Here is an example of when my system causes problems. This guy resembles Brian Albright, someone I knew in college. So I immediately named him Brian. When we were introduced two months later, and lo and behold I found out his parents had misnamed him “Scott,” I had a difficult time switching to his non-Brian name. Thus, Scott Who Is Not Brian.
- Keurig Hazelnut (Kay Hazey doesn’t talk much, but she sure likes her morning coffee)
- Less Magnificent Beard Woman