January: I complained about being overweight, groused about the Smurfs, and praised Ron Jeremy for being a cultural icon. It's possible I was still in my cookie coma and not thinking straight.
February: I waxed poetic on my favorite Superbowl ads, though the only one I still remember is the Radio Shack ad, and only because there were aging wrestlers in it. Also I returned to the corporate world and complained about commuting, but praised Pop Tarts in the workplace. Am I shallow? Maybe.
March: I said something about Truman Capote, probably because I like mentioning him every once in a while. Also I detailed Pugsley's explosive diarrhea attacks. Honestly, why do you people continue reading my blog?
April: I wrote about food. I like to eat. I also gave some valuable parenting advice, because since I don't have kids, I like to tell everyone else how they should raise theirs.
May: I listed all the things I don't want to do before I die, made some farmer's daughter jokes, and most importantly, talked about Richard Hatch. Because to the puzzlement of many, I sure do love me some Richard Hatch. I don't think I should have to justify this to you.
June: I wrote about dieting (are you sensing a theme yet? The "being overweight/I like to eat/time to diet" theme?) and snapping turtles and being funny. Also, I did a little experiment at work involving wearing makeup. The result? I should wear makeup. Should, but don't.
July: I talked about how not-terrible Connecticut is, which I'll admit, was a bit of a stretch. I also detailed my quest to find out if I was Frank Sinatra's child. It was actually less of a stretch than trying to make Connecticut sound fun.
August: You know what? If you click on the word "August" to the left, you can actually find out for yourself what I wrote about that month. I feel like eating another cookie.
September: September found me waxing poetic about having your writing rejected, about being an outgoing introvert, and about my quest for a new author photo. (Random fact: that author photo blog was probably my personal favorite this year.)
October: I listed fun facts about New England, and did some Halloween-type blogs. Plus I tried some home beauty tips. And, of course, I took the opportunity to mention Richard Hatch again.
November: I broke up with my radio station. And wrote some other stuff. My sister-in-law's sister-in-law, Pam, makes the best chocolate-chip oatmeal raisin cookies ever. I didn't blog about that in November, but I'm eating them right now, and they are goooood.
December: December is a hard time of year for me. It's difficult for me to even muster up the energy to get out of bed and shower during the holiday season. It's all that Christmas garbage: songs on the radio, specials on TV, happy people . . . it makes me sick. That's why I spent December skewering Christmas shows. Because someone needs to be brave enough to say "It is NOT a wonderful life. It's mediocre at BEST, Clarence."
There you have it. My year in review. What's coming up in 2015? From the way I've been shoveling down the cookies, I'm guessing January will start with me complaining about being overweight.
Happy New Year!