1. Is Andy Kaufman Alive?
Earlier in the week, at the Andy Kaufman awards, a woman announced that comedian Kaufman was alive and well, and also her father. Can it be?
I'm a huge fan of early Saturday Night Live and remember Kaufman's performance of the Mighty Mouse theme as pretty funny. However, I also read a biography of him and quickly realized the man was nuts. So it's plausible that he might have faked his own death.
The most compelling evidence I ever saw on this matter was this picture to the right. There's Andy, bald from chemo, yet with eyebrows and a full chest of hair. However, one photograph proves nothing. So I did a little research. By this, I mean I went to snopes.com and read one article:
Sorry, folks. Looks like he's dead again.
2. Man Forced to Dig Up Wife's Body in Yard
WFSB (Channel 3 Eyewitness News in Connecticut) is reporting that an Alabama man is being forced to dig up his wife's cremains, which he planted in his front yard in 2009.
People cremate their loved ones all the time. This guy's mistake was plopping down a big old tombstone in his yard, which I'm sure the neighbors found a little creepy and gruesome. However, one neighbor stated that this guy's house was definitely the most popular on Halloween.
I'm disappointed that this guy cremated his wife. Personally, I'm all for people burying fully-intact bodies in the yard. It's kind of like a fun puzzle, when the dog brings home a human jawbone and the family has to figure out where or who it came from. Cremation is just a waste of a good scavenger hunt opportunity.
3. Toronto City Council Strips Mayor of Some Powers
Who is this guy? How does his drunken crack-smoking affect me, my loved ones, or the U.S. economy?
Not at all? Moving on.
Close inspection of a seemingly innocuous photo that appeared on http://sfrunningguy.blogspot.com revealed startling proof that Andy Kaufman is, in fact, alive and well and living in San Francisco.
Wait, wait. This just in. Looks like it was a hoax after all: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/andy-kaufman-alive-daughter-claims-article-1.1516707
5. Vaguebooking: I Hate You.
In other Facebook news, K. is going somewhere exciting, but can't say where; L. had a late-night phone call that was really great, but won't say from who; B. has big, big news, but isn't allowed to say what is just yet. You people are annoying. If you can't give us all the details, don't say anything at all. And if you're a repeat Vaguebook offender, rest assured, I have blocked you from my feed and just don't care anymore.
There you have it: all the news that's fit to blog about. Tune in next week, when I pitch my new show idea to Animal Planet. Finding Andy Kaufman: More Elusive Than Bigfoot.