I completely forgot it was Friday today, until about five minutes ago. I mean, sure, I knew what day it was, in the sense of "the bookstore rent is due" and "only five more days until the next episode of Survivor," but as far as "hey, your blog post is due, dingbat," no, that never crossed my mind. Until now.
How could I possibly space the most important thing of your day? The one bright spot to start off your dreary, miserable weekend? Well, I'll tell you. I've been working on a new novel. And, I must admit, it's been soooo much fun.
This is how it started: leading up to this week, I'd been working on editing an anthology, getting my own short story collection ready for release, doing edits and shopping around my completed novella, and feeding vegetable oil to my cat to get her to stop yakking up so many hairballs. (Boy, she really hates vegetable oil. Especially when I bathe her in it.) However, I did have time to talk to a writer friend on the phone. Here's how the conversation went:
Kristi: So, what are you working on now?
Me: I don't know. Now that the anthology's in layout, I'm thinking about turning my sister into a zombie.
Kristi: Oh, that's sweet! She'll love that!
From there, the idea started to germinate and take root. I outlined the plot, the characters, a few red herrings, and the end game, and started to write. Of course, first I had to do my research. Since the two main girls are teenagers, I had to call my sister.
Me: Hey, listen, I'm working on a story and you're kind of the main character. It's all about you, really. Except you're a zombie. Could you please ask your thirteen-year-old if the term "sped sled" is still in use?
Kim: I hate you.
From there, I started typing away. Occasionally, I had to stop for a moment and Google a few things. Here's my recent search history:
nuclear treatment plants in Arizona
serial killer victimology
what was the name of that fruitcake that married Ted Bundy
ballet dancing terminology
whatever happened to the guy who played Eyeball Chambers in Stand By Me
Is Bradley Gregg married
Creative ways to kill Justin Bieber
Are visitors allowed to feed sharks at Mystic Aquarium
… and the list goes on. You get the idea, though. Any idiot can put pen to paper. A true writer does a thorough Google search first.
For me, the hardest part of any novel is coming up with the character names. I find it's easiest to pilfer the names of well-known people and change them slightly. I'm looking at you, Justine Blieber. What? It's totally different. I'm sure I can't get sued for that, right?
So, you see, this is why I've neglected you this week, gentle reader. Please forgive me. When Kimela Lungo, Undead Corpse hits the stands, I think you'll agree that it was worth it.
Pretty and perfect in every way.