Think about it. There’s the dog days of summer, three dog nights in the winter, letting sleeping dogs lie, and, of course, dog tired. All of these terms conjure up images of sleepy, happy, tail-thumping black labs (that’s what I picture, anyway) giving the canine nation an unfair advantage in the whole cats vs. dogs debate. All of the phrases about cats, for instance, have negative connotations. Letting the cat out of the bag. Curiosity killed the cat. Raining cats and dogs, as if to imply that if it was just raining dogs, it would be a warm, gentle sprinkle, but throw some cats in there, and you’ve got an out-and-out Nor’easter on your hands.
I’d like to suggest some new, feline friendly sayings for some of these old adages. For instance, instead of the dog days of summer, why not the lazy cat cooling off on the basement floor days of summer? See? It practically rolls off the tongue. And instead of a three dog night, why not a thirteen fuzzy kittens night? (Simple mathematics dictates that one would need considerably more kittens than dogs to warm up on a cold winter evening.) I think it’s excellent advice to let sleeping cats lie, unless you want a claw to the eyeball. And why do we always have to be dog tired? Can’t we be more tired than a cat chasing a laser pointer?
I have decided to personally head the Elimination of Canine Adages Committee, in an effort to gain more positive recognition for our feline friends. We could hold sit-ins at Nathan’s Hot Dog chains and boycott episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter.
What’s that, you say? They've already cancelled Dog the Bounty Hunter?
It seems to be working already! I’ll be doggoned.