The answer, sadly, was yes.
Cleaning the house was definitely on the list of things to do right before dropping dead. I would be absolutely mortified if people started dropping off casseroles to Jason at the house and there were dust balls everywhere.
Ironing would also have to stay on my bucket list, since my mother would absolutely die of embarrassment if I was wearing wrinkled clothing in my casket. Then there would be two funerals to plan, which would really be hard on my family. Best to press my prettiest dress now, and spare my mother that humiliation!
My list of things to do on my last day of life wasn’t getting any spunkier. Should I put off the grocery store and ride a bull named Fu Manchu? Then I realized that I was being ridiculous – there was no way anyone was going to get me on the back of a bull. I grew up on a farm. I’m well aware of how nasty a bull can be. No matter if I have thirty years or thirty minutes left to live – I’m not riding any bulls. Best to go to the grocery store, since if people are going to be dropping off casseroles at the house, we should have cream and sugar in the house so Jason can offer them a cup of coffee.
I did decide to live it up a little bit, just in case that proverbial bus was going to hit tomorrow. I noticed the car needed gas while I was driving to the store, and I decided to get a little crazy and let the gas gauge drop below a quarter of a tank. And while at the store, besides picking up whole grains and healthy fruits and vegetables, I tossed in a package of Oreo® Doublestuf cookies. That’s right – if I’m going to live like I was dying, I was going to toss calorie-counting to the curb and enjoy an extra helping of cream filling.
On the way home, I thought about other risks I could take before I died. Perhaps I would skip an episode of General Hospital and see if I’d really missed anything. I might wear brown shoes with black jeans. And just once, I’d like to close a book without putting a bookmark in to hold my place. I was heady with the danger of it all. I was a wild woman!
Then reality kicked in – or survival instinct. Chances are, I was not going to die the next day. I would most likely be around to face the scorn of the fashion police after wearing brown with black. And close a book without inserting a bookmark? What was I thinking?
The good news is, I’m still alive. And these Oreo® cookies sure are tasty.